How do I tell you I love you?
Ok, so before everyone gets all excited, let me clarify that I am not about to propose to someone or talk about my secret love for anyone!
The title was just to get your attention :)
It might have always been like this or maybe things have changed recently, but I guess I noticed/ reacted to this only recently.
How do you tell your loved ones you care for them, or that you are happy for them?
I used to think a smile is all it takes to convey your happiness.. but off late it has become a lot more complicated. There are so many parameters that go into gauging your level of happiness:
1. the volume of your voice - a loud "Wow" as apposed to a more subtle one
2. loud hand gestures
3. gifts - this is the last straw.. that's like holding out a placard saying "I am happy for you"
And then its all about who scores more points!
It makes me want to pull my hair out! One shouldn't have to do all that to express "true" feelings..
Once you get in that competition, it no longer remains a question of the feelings but instead it becomes all about winning the competition!
But, I understand its not all that simple either..
It is also a function of who's the subject for these feelings (Person "S")
Does the competition make you feel insecure about the strength of your relationship with person "S"?
Because if it was only person "S" and you, then it would really not matter that much whether you bring flowers/ gifts/ etc.. (at least from your standpoint, "S" might be expecting a gift and then you would end up in a mess if you don't.. but that mismatch of expectations is another matter for another day)
I guess it all boils down to one of the seven sins, which I consider to be the deadliest and the most prevalent, - envy.
If you take envy out of the picture, then it becomes easy to not look at the situation as a competition.
So, I think this is how it would be in world (without envy):
you would just be happy for your "S" and that would be it.
if "X" does something nice for "S", instead of feeling threatened, or the need to establish the superiority of your love, you'd again be happy for "S" (in short you'd be a saint)
I wonder how one get rid of the feeling of envy? I doubt it would be easy, otherwise it would not have been able to claim a spot among the 7 "deadly" sins!
And I being a mere mortal, will leave it at that and not try to offer a solution!
